This has been a sobering last couple of weeks, at best, so the only progress I've noted in my life is that my pseudo-anxiety attacks are increasing (mostly while on the phone, because I pace when I talk on the phone, which doesn't help my shortness of breath from my anxiety), along with my feeling of sheer helplessness.
We did go to Stephen's funeral at West Point, and it was definitely surreal. It's pretty safe to say that movies have the whole taps/21-gun salute/flag-folding thing down. The honor guard stuff was really cool, but really, really, really sad. I did get to talk to Laurel for a couple of minutes following the funeral (there was a reception), but I didn't stay long, to give her room to breathe, and also to make sure Cody and her baby--whom we rode with out to West Point--could leave before it got too late. We stopped for an evening in Niagra Falls, but it was cold and foggy, so we basically just took the extra time to sleep in the really comfy hotel bed we had.
I was also upset because I learned, on the way to New York, that Beth wasn't able to keep her house from going to auction, which I had been trying to help them figure out options by which to save it. I guess this makes me feel the worst of all, because it seems like SOMETHING should've helped them, but so many people were working against their favor.
The last two weeks I have neglected my workouts due to far too many hours on the phone with friends regarding Laurel and Stephen, and also Beth's house. It has made me feel crappy, but I just couldn't bring myself to do them when I was feeling so sick to my stomach from the stress, and also so exhausted from worrying. I'm happy to say I finally did pop in my MORE workout to help me ease back into things. I feel better now.
Please pray for both of my friends. They both have very separate and tragic things going on in their lives, and there's nothing I can do but try to be there for when they need me, but I know that prayer would mean so much more. It's something that I forget too much.
....and then there were 5.
11 years ago