California Dreamin'....

Last night I returned from a six-day stay with my friend Laurel at Ft. Irwin in California. It all happened so fast--the offer to come help, the acceptance, the booking of the tickets, the leaving two days later.... My head is honestly still spinning. On the phone last Thursday night, Laurel tells me she's planning on moving the next week, but she has to go because her friend has come to the door. I wait for an hour or so and call her back to ask if she'd like me to come help, but before I can ask, her son is in the background screaming his head off because he is super-tired. I manage to interrupt the tantrum long enough to ask her my question, and long enough for her to say, "I didn't want to ask, but that would be good." She calls me back a couple hours later, at midnight, and by 1 a.m. I've got plane tickets to leave Saturday morning.

My flight was uneventful, but I nearly didn't get picked up at the airport because Laurel was having a hard time finding a car in which to make the two-hour drive to the Ontario (California, not Canada) airport. She ended up renting a car in Barstow (the rumors are true, it really IS yucky). The first day in California was marked by an eventful three hours in Target trying to get plastic bins and supplies for the plane trip, followed by a lengthy search of the store for the hiding place of our keys. Keys are now a thorn in my foot when it comes to kids, especially that Alex. Oi.

The next four days are a blur, but each one is dog-eared with the mark of sorrow and loss Laurel is going through. We spent several hours one night looking through the items sent back from Iraq, and packing up things like his medals and the beautiful wood box that contains the flag that had been draped over his casket at the funeral. When she couldn't bear to do it any longer, I spent several hours printing out the e-mails that were a staple of their romance for nearly six months. Pictures needed to be sorted and placed in bins.

I am exhausted, both physically and emotionally, but I am grateful for the opportunity I had to go and help in the very insignificant way I did. I just wish I had had words to make sense of some of it.... because the words we like to use in these times (i.e., it's God's will, and there is a reason for everything) are just more infuriating than helpful. Making sense of why these things happen to people is not my forte.

Please pray for Laurel, as she is struggling to feel that God loves her through all of this, as one could only imagine. It was a sobering experience for me, but no doubt an invaluable one. Needless to say, I was antsy to get home and hug my family (yes, even Billy ;) ).