Ok, this is what I'm talking about!

As we speak, Billy is on his way to Taylor to do some emergency work. Isn't this always the way it works? I have spent the past week doing and overdoing, hoping that if I show I am willing to keep the house functioning with as little participation from my husband as possible, that it'll make some sort of difference in how I feel or how he feels. I feel better about myself--well, it comes and goes in waves, but mostly I am feeling better. The exercise has become a major focus in my life because it is something I can do just about no matter what. It's not dependent on whether Billy is home or, to a degree, if Hunter is sleeping. It is my outlet because it's the only physical one I've got anymore.

We've all been sick this week, which is no big surprise. I mean, who hasn't been sick the last few weeks? I've been taking care of the kids, taking care of the dogs, cleaning up after the cats, and feeding the horses.... as well as grocery shopping, cooking, and cleaning. These are all things that happen in any normal household, but it's not what I expect when I'm ill. It's not what I expect when my husband is laying on the couch sleeping or playing video games. No, no.... I'm good. I can do it myself. Please don't get up. I know you all know what I'm talking about, here.

So today, just when I think I'm getting out of the house to go do something solely FOR ME and not directly involved with THIS HOUSE, the KIDS, or the ANIMALS, who has to go to work??? I haven't cried in a couple of weeks, which is a milestone for me as of late, but I guess my streak ends today. It's just frustration more than anything. And the boy did cook me breakfast, but not before asking me what I was making for breakfast and me subsequently giving him what I affectionately refer to as the "drop-dead" glare.

I.

DON'T.

FEEL.

GOOD.

EITHER.

Please try to remember that next time I decide sleeping is a better alternative than waiting on you people.

Grrrrr!!!

And what makes me even more ticked off is that this leaves Sunday as our only day together.... Having Sunday as a family day never really jives with me because we've got church. It always makes me want to stay home from church, which I know isn't the correct response I should be having. I just don't know how I'm supposed to be feeling.