You ever notice how....

The further south you go, the more chicken and ribs restaurants there are? This seems to stop somewhere mid-Florida, because Naples is too fancy-schmancy for that, but otherwise I think I'm right.

Well, we returned from South Carolina Tuesday evening in a frenzied heap of green, snotty noses and tummy aches. And, no, the green nose was Hunter's, not mine. The tummy ache did belong to me, though, so on that one you were correct. I do believe I've never been happier to see the Detroit airport--and, more specifically--the nastiness that is the L.C. Smith terminal. It's not that I was unhappy being away from home, but I do believe travelling alone with an 18-month-old, a 7-year-old, and pregnant while trying not to vomit is going to make the list of things that I don't like and will try to avoid for the rest of my life.

We went to SC to visit my friend Laurel and her son, Alex. She has just bought a big, beautiful house that she couldn't stay in because her handyman has yet to hook up her appliances. Who does she think she is?? A working fridge? And I guess next you'll be telling me that you want a washer and dryer?

Enter Billy, myself, and the rugrats. I offer to come help her unpack, because I certainly am not the one to be hooking up appliances or moving anything of substance. Laurel proceeds to complain that she feels bad because she wants Billy and I to spend time together during the long weekend. Hence, we all decide to go. And, yes, it was very last-minute. My tickets were bought a few days prior to leaving, but we didn't buy tickets for the three boys until Thursday.... and we left Friday evening.

This is the part of the story where I tell you how Hunter was on the plane to Washington Dulles, and then the plane to Columbia, SC. I'd like to tell you he was swinging like a banshee from the overhead bins.... that somewhere along the line he bludgeoned (in a cute baby way, not an ugly terrorist way) all of the flight crew and detoured the plane to somewhere 100 times more exciting then either DC or Columbia. I'd like to tell you that he somehow convinced the steward on our second flight to sneak him some complimentary Shirley Temples, and he was giggling the whole way there. All I really can tell you, truthfully, was that he watched out the window with very wide eyes during our first take-off, and sort of looked at us like "What the heck!" when we emerged over the top of the clouds. He was very good. Not flying-us-to-Hawaii good, but pleasant overall.

We arrived to Laurel's friends' home just in time to find out that most of their family had been vomiting on and off through the evening.... and sometimes this vomit was up someone else's nose or down someone else's shirt--the hazards of the flu and a toddler. This flu business, of course, was not the news I was hoping for when making the trip to Columbia. Oh well.

I would like to say we got a lot done, but, in truth, it was Billy that got a lot done. He got the appliances going, the ever-so-fascinating weight bench out of the living room (I cannot stress the hours Hunter spent circling the weight bench, just staring, of course), built some shelves, yadda yadda yadda. Laurel and I just kind of watched him do it, which was okay by me. I peronsally spent much time trying to avoid her friends at most costs, seeing how they had the black plague running through their house. Not that we were safe for long, though, as Alex shot through his shorts and threw up a day or two after we'd already been hanging out with them.

Tuesday morning, Billy left to go to the airport at 4:30 a.m. for his 6:10 a.m. flight. My and the kids' flight wasn't until 5:10 p.m., something I tried to change but was not a possibility by the time I got to call, so we spent the day with Laurel. The only snafu with this was that I woke up feeling ready to toss my cookies.... and, literally, I had eaten a couple cookies at about 5 a.m. because my stomach was empty and they were easy to grab. I layed around much of the day, trying to not look and feel green. This was easier said than done, because it made me feel bad to lay around when Laurel was over trying to do things in the house while watching Alex and her friends' 20-month-old daughter, Katie. Let's just say that Tuesday was a wash in the helping department.

Cut to the drop-off at Columbia Airport, and Hunter proceeding to scream bloody murder every time we sit still for more than two seconds. I ended up walking around the airport for at least an hour waiting for my flight, still very much feeling like I could throw up at any moment. I'm sure I panicked most of my fellow passengers when they realized the green lady pushing the enormous set of lungs in the stroller was definitely going with them to D.C. Hahahaha. Lucky for all of us, Hunter fell asleep shortly after we took off, so he was relatively quiet for the first flight. The second flight didn't involve sleeping of any kind, but Hunter did manage to stay pretty quiet. It did take monumental effort on my part, so I hope everyone in my plane recognized it.

While driving home, Billy proceeds to tell me how he's had a wonderful day at work, complete with a heated argument with his "new boss" about various flaws in Billy's work ethic, etc. His boss proceeds to tell Billy that he was having a conversation with one of the higher-ups in PA, when he was asked what Billy's problem seemed to be. This new guy says, (not an exact quote, so don't go all crazy on me) "I don't know if he's having an affair or what? He seems very anxious to get out of work all the time. When we finish, he's gone right away." Okay. Duh. What I find so insulting is that this guy would say something like that to one of the company big-wigs, most of whom are church-going people. I mean, fine... if you want to think that Billy's having an affair, think it. It's not an idea you need to be nurturing in the minds of other people--especially people who have the power to give you the axe. Not that Billy's afraid of the axe at this point in time, because he'd gladly walk out that door given the right circumstances. It's just ridiculous.

When we get home, Billy's mom announces she's driving back to Texas to visit Jed, her on-again/off-again, and also the reason why she has been living with us for the past month or so. I didn't hear the conversation, but when I asked Billy when she would be coming back (I viewed it as a short trip, mind you), he said, "December?" This part of my entry loses significance unless you realize his mother has done this time after time... What it does go to prove is that some people never change. I guess I just don't understand how one person can mean more than an entire family. I dunno.

On that sobering note--and not to COMPLETELY change the subject, but... Did I mention I got to shop (several times) at Piggly Wiggly while in SC?? I mean.... It's been years.