Most of you who know my family well at all know that each one of my siblings are incredibly strong and as individually different as you could imagine members of the same (albeit patchworked) family could be. They are admirable in their own unique ways, and formidable when they are worked up about something. We are not perfect, we just are.
My point in saying all of that is my sister, Wendy, is a force of nature that I often don't understand nor can I control. To put it in terms that maybe compoundians will understand--she is the bug-zapper hanging off the back porch of the trailer that draws in the mosquitos and June-bugs. I'm not certain if I can continue that comparison to also include the part where the bugs fry and pop, and then contaminated bug pieces go flying about..... but perhaps you can see where I'm going with the beginning of that illustration.
We are at a party, and Wendy is the life of the party. Everyone in the room knows who she is within fifteen minutes, and has probably heard the story of why Jayson no longer sports his trademarked moustache, and probably knows what's in the Tupperware container in her fridge. She has added everyone's number into her cell phone because, years from now, she will call you and ask if she can sleep on your couch and if you want to go on a road trip with her. In my mind's eye, I know that when Wendy is struggling with something and needs to call someone to vent, she has a list of a good dozen people she can call who will answer on nearly the first ring and be pretty darn excited about it because Wendy is that cool girl that everyone wants to hang with because there is no telling what shenanigans will occur.
It is frustrating to me to think about it too much, because I am mostly the polar opposite. I don't have the energy to work a room--I'm just so stinkin' happy to be out without kids. I could peel paint for a good solid hour and not care if I didn't have to hear my kids ask for anything or scream at eachother. This isn't to say that I'm antisocial, but I have noticed with noticeable frequency that all of the sudden my friends were friends with at least one of my sisters first. And I guess there's nothing wrong with that, it's just odd, because I don't believe that it's ever happened the other way around.
Two of my very best friends live far away--one in Kalamazoo, and the other in South Carolina. They are busy for various reasons, so it is not at all uncommon for us to go for weeks, sometimes months before we get to connect for anything more than a returned voicemail in a long line of playing phone tag. I would be lying if I said that I didn't hate it, because I'm only human and want to be able to reach out to my girls and just be me. There is nothing wrong, per se, with the newer friends I have, but there is something to be said about friends you've had for practically as long as you can remember.... Friends who know you well, and who know you well. Maybe that isn't exciting, but that is how I operate.
I was talking with my friend from South Carolina yesterday, and I told her that I was frustrated with not being able to talk to her and my other closest friends with any sort of frequency, and I had mentioned that I could find new best friends (we laughed), but that, in general, I found this to be almost an annoying prospect because I'm stubborn and really like my old best friends. So, I am feeling like the anti-Wendy right now. And I'm pretty sure that makes me sound like a wench.
I really wish I understood what it was like, to have that degree of impetuousness, and to be so free-flowing. Perhaps that will come when kids are in full-time school and I find my adult self finally? I don't know. This was all an observation on my part.
P.S. - If you are a "new friend" reading this, I mean no harm or hard feelings. You are likely among the lot of people who knew Wendy first. You are most definitely my friends--my close friends, even. With a certain few of you, though, we have not gotten to the phase where our reactions to eachother are knee-jerk, and until that happens sometimes.... sometimes the getting to know eachother is overwhelming for someone who is already overwhelmed 9 days out of 10. Just know that in 10 years I will be saying the same things about you (my new "old friends") to my new "new friends". Much love. Marischka Hargitay.
....and then there were 5.
11 years ago
3 comments:
I think you and Wendy are different but equally fantastic. I don't see one type of personality as better then the other. She has her strong points but you also have yours. Not that I'm discrediting how you feel….I just think that there are great things about your personality too.
Some of my best friends have been more of the private type of person. Those close friendships, the ones where you know each other so well, are the ones I treasure the most. But it is sometimes a long hard road to get to that point. I think the reason Wendy and I got close so quick is because we went through that abusive relationship together. If only you'd come work with us, you could go through hell too ; )
As far as meeting your friends through your sisters…well, when do you have time to go out and make friends of your own? You don't. Wendy has the opportunity to be involved in a lot more things. I'm glad I met you through Wendy. I think that with time, we have the potential to be really close friends someday. We could sit aaround and talk about our feelings for hours lol
And this was not at all meant as a put-down to Wendy, because I think it was meant as just the opposite. You can't NOT love her... isn't it sickening?! LOL
I am very thankful that you and I are friends. I have a couple of relationships right now that I feel like I'm almost backing out of because it is too much for me right now for whatever reason. I don't really understand it, because I don't feel like I'm in a position for that, but.... hopefully I figure it out soon.
oh, i don't think it was a put down to Wendy either...just the opposite! I do however think that you weren't recognizing what a great person you are too.
Although what kind of blog would it be if you just blabbed great things about yourself all the time lol
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